Pilot of the Airwaves
by Sorchafyre
Summary: Duo has a broadcast, and Heero can't stop listening. May be the only multi-chapter thing you'll ever see from me.
1. Pilot of the Airwaves

  
Acknowledgements and Disclaimers: Gundam Wing and its related characters belong to Bandi Sunrise and probably a whole bunch of other people who aren't me. I'm just sneaking onto their playground hoping to play dodgeball in the dark. Huge thanks to my betas, Ruth and Th3 J4ck, wonderful people both. Worshipful thanks to Ruth for finding the absolutely perfect title for this story.  
  
Notes: Section divisions indicate a shift in POV. The author also wishes to disclaim any legal responsibility for accidents perpetuated upon baked goods during the making of this story.  
  
Dedicated to Thirteenth Nightengale, for nothing more, but indeed nothing less, then being herself.

* * *

AC 199  
  
Prelude - Heero  
  
I slid the groceries onto the counter, while my eyes automatically checked the clock. 7:05, that stupid broadcast had already started. I was not going to turn it on tonight. Resolved, I put away the small amount of groceries for today. Milk on the top shelf, all the vegetables in the drawer, cupboard for the bread and....damn it was quiet in here.  
  
Get a hold of yourself Yuy. The quiet's fine. You don't need an innane, useless distraction like Duo's broadcast.  
  
It really was amazing how quickly Duo had found the right job for himself after the war. Quatre had a hand in it, I suspect, since Winner Enterprises had just acquired a production studio. From all reports, sponsors loved his eclectic music mix of everything from pre-colony recordings to the newest hypnobeat. Listeners adored him, he was the friend next door and the man everyone wanted to sleep with. Winner Enterprises was happy, not only was Duo popular but he could run his own equipment board and make spot repairs, dispensing with the need to pay a technician and assistant.  
  
I forcibly stopped myself from moving toward the 'cast unit, but just thinking about his show made me want to hear it.  
  
All right, so he was good at it. I was still doing what I was good at too, wasn't I? There were always missions to be attended to. As much as everyone said they wanted peace, there were always those who didn't, and would need to be stopped. Relena was more than holding her own in the political arena, and Sally and her Preventers were a visible presence for peace. It was she that handed me, and sometimes the other pilots, the missions where an invisible, non-lethal force was needed.  
  
Annoyed, I realized I was checking the clock again. 7:12. I sat down on the couch with the paper, trying to strengthen my resolve. I really didn't need to hear Duo's voice. Involuntarily, the side of my mouth lifted in a twisted smile. I wasn't very good at convincing myself.  
  
The 'cast unit was on before I could stop myself.  
  
Duo's rich voice filled my small apartment, and I felt myself relax. Ironic really, I wanted to be upset with him for my own reactions, but once I was listening to his smooth tone it didn't seem to be such a big deal.  
  
I made my dinner, eating because it was time rather than because I was hungry. As I cleaned up the dishes, honesty forced me to admit to myself I couldn't care less about the music, or the news, or even just what it was Duo was saying. It was early, but I turned out the lights and lay down on the couch anyway, listening in the dark made this feel more personal.  
  
As the show progressed, Duo's speech became silkier and more intimate. A by-now-familiar tingle that was at once exciting and soothing flowed through me. The flush on my skin was deepening along with my breathing as I let his voice wash over me like a velvet caress until the end of the show. Once again, sleep would be a long time coming.  
  
This has got to stop.

* * *

Part One - Quatre  
  
The decor in the Grey Swan was only there to remind the diners how important they were, I decided. It wasn't often I had to wait for a lunch meeting long enough to notice it. Even being Winner's CEO didn't buy more hours in the day. Duo and I rarely had time to have lunch together anymore, but one thing hadn't changed; he was always late. I was more than half-convinced he did it on purpose, he was always telling me I should take time to be alone. I scanned the room from my table near the window.  
  
As if summoned by my thoughts, Duo came striding through the restaurant. His green silk shirt and stark black jeans should have looked wildly out of place in this bastion of corporate narcissism, but he carried himself with such a sense of assurance about him that people often found it easier to shift their expectations rather than change him. Not a single other person I knew would have been able to charm the matre'd into letting them walk through the tables unescorted.  
  
I tamped down my grin as he reached the table. Lunch with Duo was always an uncomplicated joy. Our friendship was another thing that had never changed; gentle teasing wrapped in warm respect and the knowledge we would always have each other's back.  
  
"Mister Winner." Duo slid into the waiting chair. "An excellent choice of dining facility." His voice was grave, but his eyes sparkled with mischief. So that was the game, was it? "How nice that the head of the company owning my production studio invited me to lunch."  
  
It took me a second to work through that one. He definitely lost points for confusion in that sentence. I raised my eyebrow and he acknowledged it with a tilt of his head.  
  
"Is it that unusual?" I countered. "We do have lunch occasionally."  
  
"Once per quarter?" Duo countered.  
  
"Of course not. I'm never that organized when I choose an employee to bestow my corporate largesse on." Now I had to acknowledge an awkward sentence.  
  
"At least your secretary didn't call me to cancel this time," Duo continued relentlessly. I winced, and gave him that one with a rueful grin.  
  
"I'll have you know," I said archly, "I had my calendar on write-protect for this lunch."  
  
"Really? And that makes it safe?"  
  
"As safe as possible, Mister Maxwell." He looked surprised at the honorific. My point.  
  
"You shouldn't put too much faith in electronics, Quatre." Duo fairly purred with a predatory glee.  
  
I laughed, in genuine delight at the prospect of searching my computer over the next few weeks for the results of the informal challenge. Content with a draw, I gestured for the waiter, who appeared almost instantly to take our order.  
  
"Have you heard from Sally lately?" I asked, as I settled back into my chair.  
  
"No, not for awhile. I read about that business in Africa, though." A leftover battalion of Alliance troops were using the forest to hide an arms manufacturing plant. The Preventers shut them down, but weren't able to pinpoint either the buyer or the supplier.  
  
"I'll have to contact her." I looked around carefully. The odds anyone would be eavesdropping were slim, and the odds anyone here would care even slimmer. Some habits were ingrained too deeply, however. "I've got news about a fireworks run on the Red Line." I subconsciously dropped back into our wartime code for an illegal shipment of ammunitions on the Earth-Mars supply route. I wanted to alert the Preventers, to avoid compromising my source. Sally would be an acceptable risk.  
  
Duo whistled under his breath. "Yep. That's one she should take care of." He fell quiet, brooding. "It never stops, does it?"  
  
We sat in introspective silence until the food arrived, with memories of war and death our unspoken companions.  
  
The rest of the lunchtime conversation continued pleasantly enough. Time passed, as it inevitably does, and we said our goodbyes. Duo left singing some ridiculous song I recognized from his broadcast, and I went back to my office to gleefully try to protect my computer system. 


	2. On the Other Side

Part Two - Duo  
  
Another night, another show, and tonight I treated myself to The Backstreet afterwards, the hot, new club for up-and-comming acts. It was becoming all the rage, where anyone who was anyone wanted to be seen, and I delighted in being seen. I opened the door just enough to slip inside. While I paused to let my eyes adjust, the life of the room washed over me. People moved and flowed through the room in a wave of sound and passion, as the band drove it all with an unseen backbeat. I hummed with pleasure, drawing energy from the crowd like some parasitic vampire. The irony always amused me, Shinigami taking life and through some synergy feeding it back again. With a grin, I moved into the chaos.  
  
I was delighted that the first person I saw was Hilde. We had met during the war, and worked together for a short time afterward at a salvage business. There were far too many periods of isolation for me to really enjoy it.  
  
During one of our lunch meetings Quatre and I had a wickedly good time picking out alternate jobs for our friends, and then he told me he'd always thought I needed a job where I could spout random nonsense for hours. As soon as I said the word DJ something changed. You ever have one of those moments where everything just falls into place? Yeah, it was like that.  
  
I'd dated Hilde too, after the show became successful. She had enough branches to incorporate by that time, she'd always been smart. I'd dated her no more or less than anyone else. I'd learned to be very careful with my reputation by then. I was usually linked in a series of romantic liaisons to some woman who needed publicity. There was never any real emotion behind it, each of us got what we needed.  
  
"Duo!" Hilde greeted me with genuine happiness. Even though we only kept in touch haphazardly, we still enjoy each other's company. "I didn't know you were going to be here! What a happy surprise."  
  
I kissed her cheek, then slid my arm around her waist and pulled her to stand at my side. "Hilde! You're looking good tonight." In unspoken agreement, we went to perform the obligatory social rounds. This was my element, and tonight it seemed I could do no wrong. The jokes were funny, the charm was working perfectly and Hilde even asked if they bottled my 'charismatic energy'.  
  
Finally, we settled at a table barely large enough for our drinks. We talked as best we could over the music, sharing old times and new gossip until the band announced their last song.  
  
"They're not bad," I judged, "What are they called?"  
  
Hilde thought a moment. "Perfecting the Image."  
  
I couldn't help it. The laughter had to spill over. "Perfecting the Image? You've got to be kidding me!"  
  
"No, they're new but they're really taking off." She looked at me in puzzlement as my laughter faded. "Duo?"  
  
In the space of a breath and a heartbeat, the laughter melted into a painful sadness.  
  
"Sorry," I said, not even attempting a smile. "Just remembering a joke with an old friend." Even to Hilde I couldn't say his name.  
  
I was always joking about band names during the war. Any turn of phrase that struck my fancy was fair game, and not one of the pilots escaped being cast in my little fantasy band. One day Heero had been trying to show me a very old vid feed and the words PERFECTING THE IMAGE had appeared on the screen. Really, the joke was inevitable.  
  
And here they were, a real band. Of course they didn't have Heero on lead guitar, Wufei beating the drums with Trowa holding down bass guitar, my incredible vocals and Quatre playing keys and tracking every other instrument known to man, but they there they were. Astonishing.  
  
What was even more astonishing was the fact that this was the first time I'd thought of Heero in awhile. I really could go great chunks of time without thinking of him. Days, even. But somehow, sooner or later, I'd end up wondering what Heero would think, or do, or say.  
  
"Duo?" Hilde repeated, concerned.  
  
I smiled and jumped up, dismissing the memory. The DJ had started the music and a little physical activity would help me loose my thoughts. "C'mon. Let's dance." I could see the relief in her eyes as she let me lead her to the dance floor, laughing.  
  
I was getting drinks after that set when disaster struck again. Crowded against the sticky bar waiting for our order the opening notes of a very old song froze my blood. I hoped fate was having her little laugh at me because I didn't think karma worked that fast.  
  
I worked with music, right? So it was only natural that I had a song to represent everyone I knew. Some people knew their songs, some didn't. They were mostly pre-colony, and some of them could get me killed if their 'owner' found out. I still count it as one of my greatest triumphs that I'm still breathing after playing 'Puff the Magic Dragon' for Wufei. Trowa was quietly amused at his, and I was still saving Quatre's to trump him at lunch some day.  
  
I would never have been suicidal enough to tell Heero about this one, though. The drinks were delivered as the opening lines began. I'm not looking forward to the night I'll spend thinking of you when you're not here.  
  
Pushing past the suddenly stifling crowd, I took the drinks back to the table. I tried making small talk, but the music seemed to flood the room, making it hard to breathe. Hilde tried her best, but finally I bowed to the obvious.  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm not really feeling well." No lie there. "I'm gonna take off now. Maybe we'll catch up with each other later." I gave her a quick kiss and a longer hug. She sighed dramatically, then smiled.  
  
"Take care of yourself, Duo. Stay safe."  
  
I decided to walk home, the infuriating song still playing in my head. The night air was cool, the darkness creeping along my skin like the shadows of a kiss. Tonight I desperately needed the comfort of the place I considered my own. The crisp smell of autumn leaves beckoned as I turned into the small lane of apartment blocks. The leaves crunched under my feet like dried memories suspended in the timeless beauty of death.  
  
The three stairs up to my private flat were measured in silence, practicing skills I was careful not to lose, no matter what my public occupation. As a public personality, I had an apartment or two, but this was my sanctuary. No one except Quatre knew the address. I didn't come here often, just when I needed some seclusion and privacy. When I needed to run and hide, like tonight.  
  
I left the lights off as I entered, moving through the darkness to the fridge. Snagging out a cool bottle of water I sat on the couch and tried not to feel anything. Thoughts, memories, emotions all swirled around me to the damnable song. Finally, I gave up resisting and got undressed, throwing myself across the bed. I licked my lips and moved my hand to my waiting erection.  
  
Resting deep, you don't know what you give me I keep for these moments alone.  
  
It had started as a challenge. Could Death move more silently than the Perfect Soldier could sense? I'd stalked Heero day and night, the only truce being while we were carrying out a mission. The unofficial score had been almost even when I discovered that I could ghost into Heero's room without waking him shortly after he fell asleep. Of course, I sometimes got caught leaving, but not always.  
  
There was an odd sense of vulnerability about Heero when he was asleep, although I was mortally certain I would find out just how much an illusion that was if I tried anything. Sometimes I'd stay an hour, sometimes most of the night watching him sleep.  
  
My body shook as I slowly stroked myself. Memories rode fantasy, twisting through a slowly rising wave of desire. I finally came with a long exhalation, carried through pleasure to pain and beyond, a sensation so intense there were no words to describe it. That too was inevitable when I fantasized about Heero.  
  
With a sigh, I wiped my hands on the blanket and slid into bed. I closed my eyes with a familiar mixture of resignation, shame and weary longing.  
  
The chorus followed me down into sleep. Close your eyes I want to ride the skies in my sweet dreams, close your eyes I want to see you tonight in my sweet dreams. 


	3. Hello Again, Hello

Part Three - Heero  
  
It wasn't the third, or even fourth time I wondered how I came to be sitting in a coffee shop across the street from Duo's studio. I knew something had to change, but I wasn't sure what amounted to stalking him on L4 was going to help. Of course, I wasn't sure it wasn't either.  
  
Soon enough, Duo emerged from the building. I could almost hear the cheery farewell he tossed over his shoulder. I knew it was long after his show had finished taping, and he had apparently changed clothes afterwards into a soft black outfit with thin boots. He had his braid tucked under the collar of a dark trench coat. After giving him a sufficient head start, I followed him down the street.  
  
Duo strode down the sidewalk, apparently enjoying walking around at the ungodly hour of two a.m. Occasionally he even whistled a snatch of song. The gradual change in his manner was subtle at first, but it was obvious to me. His steps became softer, his eyes more intense until soon he was just drifting down the street, his presence no more intrusive than the gentle breeze. I knew that attitude, and took extra precautions. Shinigami was on a mission.  
  
Twice I was sure he knew he was being followed, but each time I managed to elude detection. Duo stopped in front of an imposing office building. He took something small and metal out of his pocket and tossed it into the air. The light glinted off it for a brief second before he caught it with a feral grin.  
  
I knew what was coming. As many times as I'd tried to see this, the actual moment defied my surveillance once again. Duo just vanished, sliding into the darkness like smoke into the night. One of these days I would be able to quantify how he did that, but until then the actual moment of transition was still a mystery.  
  
I moved closer and studied the building that was so obviously Duo's target. I frowned in surprise as I found it was the local offices of Winner Enterprises. I caught the smallest flash of light from one of the windows near the top floor. I waited, and waited some more, until the familiar prickle on my neck let me know what I was waiting for. Duo would not resurface, he must have known he was under observation, but couldn't pinpoint who or where. This wasn't getting me anywhere, it was time for a change in tactics.  
  
Deliberately stepping into the light, I waited a moment. "We should talk. Meet me." I didn't bother to raise my voice, I had no doubt he would hear me. I turned and walked back the way we had come.  
  
Two streets later I had reached my objective; a dingy all-night diner. The cracked vinyl caught on my jeans as I slid into a relatively clean booth. I was completely unsurprised when Duo sat down opposite me a moment later.  
  
"Hey, haven't seen you in awhile. What brings you all the way out here?" The words were cheerful enough, but there was something wary in Duo's eyes.  
  
Now that the moment was here, I found I wasn't quite sure what to say. I deflected the question with one of my own. "Will you have something to eat?" He studied me a second, then added an order for some pie and coffee. The food arrived within moments.  
  
I still felt awkward and uncomfortable. I decided to indulge my curiosity a bit before addressing my reasons for being here. "What were you doing back there?"  
  
Duo sighed and mashed a piece of his untouched pie with his fork. "Did Quatre send you? I thought I'd timed it right, must be going soft in my old age."  
  
I frowned. Apparently I wasn't the only one with reason to deflect a question. "No, I wasn't sent. What were you doing back there?"  
  
"Really? Promise? Cross your heart and hope to die?" The guarded look was still in Duo's eyes.  
  
"No." I was beginning to get irritated now. I let it show in my voice as I continued. "I wasn't sent, I haven't talked to Quatre, and I asked what you were doing back there."  
  
Duo slowly smiled. He was more eloquent with a smile, or a laugh, than most people could ever dream of being. I was forced to admit that had always fascinated me. This smile radiated gleeful mischief, and delight. I knew he was dying to tell me.  
  
"About a week ago," he began, "It became...necessary for me to access Quatre's calendar system." Duo's voice was distracting. Apparently just seeing him wasn't the answer to the problem. In fact, Duo's smooth tone coupled with his appearance, black working clothes with his face flushed and eyes sparkling with joy, was making it exponentially worse. I was having trouble breathing.  
  
I wrenched my attention back to the thread of his story just in time to realize I was being asked a question.  
  
"What's the one thing people almost always forget when they enter a potentially hostile room?" Duo asked.  
  
"To look up," I answered absently, my attention on trying to rewind the conversation mentally.  
  
"Right. And what's the one thing people almost always forget when trying to protect their system from hackers?"  
  
It clicked, and I made a small sound of understanding. "The hardware."  
  
"Exactly. All Quatre's appointments tomorrow are going to be with the firm of Grim and Reaper and Ms. Angel of Death and...well, you get the idea."  
  
Duo was smirking. I blinked as I tried to process this information. Duo was causing mayhem for Quatre? He was fairly glowing with his success. A computer system as large as Winner Enterprises had to have some fairly sensitive data, not to mention the chaos it would cause if any vital operations were interrupted. When had I missed such a dramatic change in the interpersonal dynamics of my friends? I was beginning to regret my decision not to stay in touch with my fellow pilots for the last two years.  
  
"Why did you sabotage Quatre?" I asked. "Are you two fighting?"  
  
Duo looked at me blankly for a moment, and then grinned in realization. "No, you don't understand. It's all friendly; Cat knows the password to get things back to normal. We've played this game before, and it helps keep our edge to practice on each other." Duo smiled one of those eloquent smiles, full of sly remembrance. "One time, he managed to get all the systems in my apartment to play over an hour's worth of commercials for that hideous health drink thing his company puts out. I still can't figure out how he did that one, and he won't tell me, the fiend."  
  
I relaxed and we ate in silence for a few moments. Mashing the last bit of his pie onto his fork, Duo got to the point.  
  
"Your turn to answer. You never did tell me before, what are you doing here?"  
  
I studied him a moment, unsure how to begin. "I need some information."  
  
"Um, aren't you supposed to go through channels for that?"  
  
"The Preventers can't get me this information. I need it from you." I could feel my whole body tense. I kept staring at Duo, hoping for inspiration.  
  
He cocked his head curiously and laughed, this one invited the listener to join in. He was always finding something to laugh about, another thing that fascinated me.  
  
"You're staring at me like I'm some kind of mission," Duo said, still grinning.  
  
And suddenly there it was, the perfect opening. "I always knew you were perceptive," I replied evenly.  
  
Duo's grin faded into puzzled contemplation. "Should I be worried?" he asked. For someone who had spent hours focused on his voice as I had it was easy to hear he was a bit nervous and deadly serious.  
  
The impulse to sigh in frustration was tempting, but I resisted it. "Duo," I said, "what do you know about me since we all split up? Outside of mission parameters, that is."  
  
Duo rested his elbows on the table, his chin on top of his folded hands. He stared across the narrow table, appearing to give the question his full attention. Our eyes met and I found I couldn't look away.  
  
"Outside of work, as it were? I know you stopped being Relena's bodyguard eight months before she got married. I know you've moved twice since then and you live in Minsk now. I know your curtains are red. I know you have miso soup and fish for breakfast every day. I know you've got four chairs and a kitchen table but you sleep on the couch. I know you keep an emergency stash of ID and cash taped under the sink. I know you have a hell of a singing voice, when there's no one around to hear it." I didn't know whether to be astonished or angry; I ended by being uncomfortably impressed. Duo looked away then, and this time his smile was completely unreadable. "What, you think I've never gone on a mission of my own?"  
  
"How....when....we'll need to talk later." I was determined not to be distracted now that I'd begun to say what I had come here for. But I had to admit this revelation that Duo knew more about me than I would have believed was...disturbingly intriguing.  
  
I had to be direct. Uncomfortable as it was, it was time to be blunt. "I listen to you every night and for awhile now..." I trailed off, not even knowing myself where that sentence was going. "Whenever I hear you," I tried again, "I get the strangest feelings."  
  
I was acutely aware the explanation was hopelessly inadequate.  
  
Duo's eyes were narrowing in concern, so I tried clinical detachment. "The physical side effects are an increased pulse rate, rise in body temperature, restlessness and nervous energy. There's this...desire... to do something or take some action but I can't focus on what it is. Hearing you makes me want...something," I finished, miserably frustrated. I knew what I wanted alright, I just couldn't seem to say it.  
  
I watched the play of thoughts on his face, which he didn't bother to hide. Once, his eyes widened as if struck by an idea, and he almost looked at me, but then shook his head with a bitterly ironic grimace. Duo finally looked at me again, and once more I was captivated by the depths of blueness in his eyes. If sunshine were a color, I thought irrelevantly, it would be that exact shade. Those eyes were suddenly filled with revelation and something oddly like hope.  
  
"Oh. Man, you're gonna kill me if I'm wrong, but what's life without a little adventure?" I mentally shook my attention from the microcosm of Duo's eyes, to see him grinning with gleeful intent. "Take your chances, eh?" He stood and rounded the table to slide into the booth beside me. I automatically scooted over but we were still close enough that when Duo turned and laid his hand along the back of the seat, our legs pressed together.  
  
"Let me get this straight," he began, "when you listen to me, your body gets all tense and flushed, and you feel this need to do something." I nodded confirmation, hearing to Duo's gleeful voice edged with apprehension. I started when his hand came down around my shoulders, but let myself be pulled close enough to feel the heat radiating from his body. "I have a theory." Duo moved his head closer, and now I could feel soft exhalations caressing my cheek and lips. I shivered. "How do you feel now?" he asked.  
  
I could only stare. I swallowed, not finding any words to convey the desperate feeling of drowning. My eyes must have confirmed whatever he was looking for. "Please don't kill me for this, okay?" he purred. Then, to my utter shock, Duo leaned forward the last inch and kissed me.  
  
He tasted of coffee and sweet apples, and I went into sensory overload. I was acutely aware of the barest tickle of breath against my skin, the subvocal whimper of Duo's need, the fresh scent of soap and desire from his heated flesh. Then the moment was gone, along with the kiss.  
  
We sat very still for a moment, breathing hard and struggling for control. Duo, as could be expected, was the first to speak.  
  
"Oh, yeah. I think I know what you need." With a smile of transcendent joy, he grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the booth. "Come on, we'll go to my place." 


	4. Urgent

Part Four - Heero  
  
The tension was coiling inside me, singing through my blood like an adrenaline rush. As soon as Duo got the door open and flipped on the light, I reached for him. We collided, spilling to the floor in a clumsy heap.  
  
"Hey, we've got all night. I promise I'm worth waiting for," he laughed, but the intensity in his eyes matched mine. It sounded reflexive, a line he had waiting on hand. I dismissed it for the meaninglessness it was. Standing, I exercised an amazing amount of control by not reaching down to pull Duo up against my body. I doubted my control was appreciated, doubted it was even recognized. But then I wasn't quite sure what Duo knew about me, and that trembling uncertainty quickened my pulse.  
  
I held myself still as I watched him lock the door, until the beat of the words in my head matched the beat of my pulse. _Duo wants me, Duo wants me, Duo wants me_. I pulled him to me in a fierce kiss. I had never felt this intense level of need before, and felt trapped between the soul-deep instinct to stay in control and the breathless unknown of surrender.  
  
Duo pulled back with a ragged breath, his skin flushed. The look glazing his blue eyes made my muscles tense with an undefined desire.  
  
"Bedroom's there," Duo breathed, waiving his hand vaguely down the unlit hallway. I blinked at him, caught in the overwhelming grip of lust. Higher brain function was unattainable; my nerves were aflame with need. Duo smiled again, drawing me into the dark.  
  
We didn't bother with a light in the bedroom. Enough ambient light spilled in from the living room that I could see the bed and Duo, nothing else mattered. Impatiently I pulled his clothes off. My enthusiasm deepened from the way he seemed to be laughing in amusement and shivering in desire at the same time, neither helping nor impeding my work. Once he was undressed, he leapt into bed as I quickly stripped.  
  
I looked over just in time to see Duo finish unbraiding his hair. Gloriously naked, his fingers combing through the molten darkness of hair spilling over his body, Duo was the personification of every wanton desire I had ever held.  
  
The sight shredded the last remnants of my self-control, and with a moan of surrender, I pounced.  
  
I felt fierce satisfaction as my mouth stole the moans of pleasure from his. My body writhed downwards, the movement from beneath me driving me into an overwhelming frenzy. I gripped skin and muscle, I knew I would leave bruises and didn't care. I ground against the delicious form beneath me, and somewhere heard that glorious voice telling me to stop but the voice was the core of my desperate need. I was consumed, overwhelmed, I bit down and tasted blood and knew I was causing pain and it was glorious, the blood tasted like power and freedom and control and I was drowning in want, need, desire, lust, want, need, need, need....  
  
A harsh voice, like Duo's and yet not, caught the attention of that part of me that would always hold itself separate. "Zero One. Stop. Return. Listen." The unexpected words brought me back to an awareness of my surroundings. I blinked away the haze of desire, and as my vision returned I saw Duo trapped under me, his hands pinned by mine. As I released my grip and sat up, Duo slid out from beneath me with natural grace and scooted towards the head of the bed. I blinked again, trying to process what had just happened with a mind that seemed determined to stay disconnected from any coherent thought.  
  
Duo seemed dazed as well. "I knew if that didn't work nothing would." Duo's voice whispered around my thoughts, reflective rather than intruding. I could not have spoken if the fate of the colonies rested on it.  
  
"Shit." A breath of silence. "Man." Duo touched the blood on his shoulder. "Heero, dude, where have you been recently?" I stared unseeing at Duo, who looked back with hooded eyes.  
  
Then, my reason returned, dragging along shame and remorse. I had lost control, drawn blood and I wasn't sure where I would have stopped. This unfamiliar aching desire had overwhelmed me and I refused to indulge myself anymore. I was not a creature of the middle ground it seemed, either I was completely restrained or I was mindlessly impulsive. Bitterly I cursed myself for ever coming here as I pulled on my pants.  
  
Duo's beautiful, glorious voice rang through the room, and though the tone was longing and a little alarmed, it felt like acid in my pool of self- pity. "Heero? Don't leave." I refused to look at him. I had to go. I could feel my resolve melting with every golden word. I took a step toward the door.  
  
"Please, Yuy-sama."  
  
As they had before, the words were so unnatural for this time and place they stopped me. I turned, stunned, pulled from my mental flagellation. He'd put me off-balance yet again.  
  
"What did you call me?"  
  
"Uh, yeah, sorry about that. But listen, come back here. Don't stop now." His voice held a hint of desperation.  
  
A long pause thickened between us. "Don't....stop," I repeated, feeling as if I were trying to comprehend the secret of life itself. Once more the world stopped computing.  
  
Duo licked his lips and gestured toward the bed. I didn't move, not leaving but not really choosing to stay. Shrugging, Duo continued. "Yeah. Most of that was...really exciting."  
  
His eyes flicked away for a brief moment in a rare show of self- consciousness. "But I lost you somewhere in there. You sort of went away, and it stopped being about you and me. I don't want it to be like that. But that doesn't mean we should stop. Do you know how long I've been wanting you?"  
  
I took an almost involuntary step towards the bed, drawn perhaps by the accuracy of the description.  
  
"No, Duo. I can't be like that. I can't let go and ... know when to stop." I moved close enough to touch the blood on Duo's shoulder. He waved in dismissal.  
  
"Yes, you can!" Duo was emphatic. "You've just never learned. Look," he said, pulling me down to face him on the bed. "You did target practice as a kid, right?" I nodded. "Well, as soon as you could hit 10 for 10 in a simulation, they didn't stick a gun in your hand and tell you to kill a human being right away did they?"  
  
"Actually, they did."  
  
It was Duo's turn to blink. "Well, shit. There goes that idea."  
  
I waited in curious hope while intense thoughts played across his face. Duo had a way of drawing people in, making you believe that with enough passion anything was possible. I was sure that if there was a way to make this work, Duo would find it.  
  
"All right, try this. Remember the first time you found out that life wasn't fair?" Enough of the blood-soaked images of Odin that passed through my mind must have made it to my face, because he continued as if I'd agreed. "Now think about the last time you were reminded that, no matter what you do, sometimes you just can't make things right." My gaze never left his as I nodded slowly. "It wasn't the same, was it? The feeling was different when it wasn't so new." I still wasn't convinced, but it was enough for me to think about.  
  
Duo put a hand on my arm, pleading with his whole body. "Heero. Trust me. Please."  
  
After a moment of silence, I stood up and looked down into Duo's wide eyes. He looked almost frightened and very, very vulnerable. I knew I was lost. I felt the ghost of a memory; wind rushing past me in glorious free-fall with the illusion of freedom it brought, unconcerned by what lay below. Ironic that Duo had been there for that, too.  
  
"We will try again. I'll trust you to bring me back if I...get lost. But not tonight." I needed some time to recover my mental balance. I moved toward the door, only to be stopped once again by Duo's voice.  
  
"Heero. Would you crash here tonight?" There was a whisper of longing hidden in the question that had nothing to do with lust. "You can have the bed if you want, I'll take the couch."  
  
I turned, tempering my words with a half-smile. "Idiot. As if I'd let you sleep on your own couch. I'll see you in the morning." I left the room silently, not needing to hear his voice to feel the satisfaction radiating from the rumpled bed. 


	5. Any Way You Want It

Part Five - Duo  
  
I woke up with a deep sense of hope, and a raging hard-on. The muffled noise of Heero cooking in the kitchen probably inspired both. I tried to take slow, even breaths and think calm thoughts. Of course I could just take care of the problem quickly before Heero realized I was awake, and the thought of that illicit little thrill was enough to undo all the progress I'd made. Now that there was a very real possibility that some of my fantasies were about to come true, I felt an irrational need to wait. I sighed and started over.  
  
Finally I gained enough control to toss a robe on and go out to the kitchen. Seeing Heero moving through my previously unshared sanctuary inspired a strange sensation composed of equal parts optimism, excitement, lust and a deep contented peace.  
  
"Hey," I greeted him, "what's for breakfast?"  
  
"Lunch," he countered, without turning around.  
  
I moved in to perch on one of the bar stools I kept in the kitchen. I'd liked them in the store, and the fact I had nowhere to put them was irrelevant to me at the time, so they ended up lining the wall. "Hey, I work late, so I get up late," I protested. The silence may have lasted all of a minute. "Yeah, and speaking of work, I've got to leave in about an hour. I'll leave you with the code for the lock, if you want to go out and do something until I get off," I added, suddenly seized with a deep fear that when I got back he would be gone, and this would all turn out to be some desperate hallucination.  
  
He did turn at that, and I melted at the look in his eyes. "Duo, do you really think I need you to tell me the code?" A long moment later I emerged from my blissful thoughts enough to realize what he'd said.  
  
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
Shockingly enough, a small grin played around his lips, making me loose my focus once again. I'll bet he has no idea what he looks like when he does that. "I'll make you a bet," he said, sounding amused. "I'll bet I know you well enough to get inside within five attempts."  
  
"You're on." I hadn't bothered to make this place secure the way we used to back in the war, but that was arrogant even for him.  
  
He thought out loud as he moved to the door. "This type of lock has a preprogrammed code of six numbers but you'll have changed that." He stepped outside, pulling the door closed behind him. There were a few long moments of silence, then I heard the soft beeps of a combination being entered. Nothing happened. Another sequence was met with silence. Then a third time, and the door slid open for him to enter. I could only stare.  
  
"I knew you'd have made it a word." He sounded smug. I wanted to be upset but I think stunned was closer.  
  
"What did you try first?" I really, really wanted to know.  
  
"Maxwel. Then, Gundam. Which led me to Scythe." The fact that I really had used the first two at one time both elated and disturbed me.  
  
The flush of triumph on his face, combined with the power in his eyes drew me towards him on a wave of desire so intense I could barely breathe. In the shadow of a second he changed, stepping back toward the door and closing down every sign of emotion. Ice water couldn't have done a better job of stopping me.  
  
"Not yet," he said impassively. "Not without a plan."  
  
"Right." There would be a plan by tonight. Come hell or high water, there would be a plan if I had to sell my pride to get one. I fled to the shower, not looking back.  
  
I was very glad the shower was on the cold side when the answer came to me. I'm sure I was wearing a maniac grin as I toweled off quickly and dressed. Heero was very definitely not going to like it, but if he gave it a chance, I'd be a very happy man. I almost skidded into the kitchen in my enthusiasm. But looking at Heero waiting for me at the table, two plates of food ready, my nerves went into deep cover. Time for some of that hiding I claimed to be so good at.  
  
Heero looked amused as I ate, which was better than the dispassionate way I'd left him. He only picked at his own meal. "You didn't have much food." He still sounded amused, which relieved me.  
  
"I don't really spend too much time here. This is only for..." I trailed off, not really knowing how to finish that without sounding ridiculous. "This place is special to me so I don't come here often." Alright, that was worse, it sounded completely inane. Heero just looked at me curiously. I could feel myself flush. Suddenly I wasn't hungry anymore.  
  
I put the plate on the counter and went into the living room. Heero followed me, moving to sit on the couch while I paced around. Now would be a wonderful time for a distraction. It took a minute to regain the excitement for my solution to our mutual problem. It didn't take long.  
  
"Wait right there," I ordered, and at his nod I slipped down the hall to snatch what I wanted from the bedroom and put it in behind my back. After all, presentation is half the fun, and maybe if I presented it right he'd be more willing to consider it.  
  
"I've been thinking," I said, reentering the room. "The way I see it, you need to feel like you can't get too far out of control, and still keep that passionate lust that I would really like you to keep." I had to stop for a moment and swallow hard at the memory. "So here's my idea."  
  
I pulled the handcuffs from behind my back and let them thud on the coffee table. Heero looked at them for an immeasurable moment.  
  
"Where did you get those?" he asked faintly.  
  
"And why were they in my bedroom? Really." I gave him my best look of amused disbelief, throwing in a raised eyebrow for good measure. He flushed and looked away. It would have ruined the effect if he'd known I'd never brought anyone else here, and only had them because they were a gag gift from Trowa.  
  
I couldn't afford to tease him too much. "Heero." He looked at me, and I noticed the way his eyes carefully avoided the table. Suddenly this wasn't so amusing. "You don't have to. If you want to wait, maybe we can think of something else."  
  
"Duo...no." I'm not sure either of us knew what he was protesting. After an ageless moment he continued. "It's not like you're probably assuming. I don't have any deep, psychological issues with it." And oh, the sarcastic bitterness in his voice hinted at a story I wanted to hear some night. I kept very still. "It's just..." he sighed, a sound of puzzled frustration.  
  
"Look," I said, "I have to go to work now. Just think about it, OK, and we can talk when I get back." Please be here when I get back, I added in my mind. He nodded.  
  
It was going to be a long, long shift. 


	6. Dark Side of the Moon

Part Six - Heero  
  
"Hey honey, I'm home. Didja miss me?" Duo's cheery voice belied the fact that I knew he'd stood outside the door for at least two minutes before he came inside. Probably afraid I'd be gone. It also belied the nervousness in his eyes as they swept the now-empty coffee table.  
  
"Loads," I deadpanned.  
  
He drifted through the living room for a few minutes, making idle conversation. It seemed he wasn't going to ask, but he couldn't sit still either. The tension curled through the space behind him. His movements sang with it as he headed to the kitchen.  
  
"Hm, there really isn't much food here, is there?" he said, looking into the refrigerator. "I guess maybe I should go out and buy some more?" His way of asking how long I was going to stay.  
  
"Duo." He froze for a moment, his back still to me. Then in one swift movement he swung to face me. I slowly took the cuffs out of my back pocket and held them out to him. The look in his eyes brought back the slow burn in my pulse. Surprisingly, he stayed where he was, although I could see the effort.  
  
"Are you sure?" The words fairly vibrated with hunger and I could hear his breath deepen, but with incredible restraint he remained still. Before he could draw a breath I closed the distance between us, gripping his hand and forcing his fingers around the warm metal.  
  
"Yes," I growled, already impatient. Eagerly I let my eyes roam over him, as if my gaze could devour him. I stopped at his neck. I could see the pulse and I was mesmerized by the way his skin throbbed with the rhythm of his heart. I heard myself growl with the need to run my tongue along that smooth flesh.  
  
"Wait, wait, wait." Duo's hand was waved suddenly in front of my face, breaking my trance. Seizing my tattered control I took a step back. "Damn, you get turned on fast." I think he was trying to laugh, but all I could hear was the excitement threaded through the words.  
  
"I think. Bedroom. Would...be...good. Now." I tried to be proud of the way that almost made a sentence, but there was no room for anything but craving the taste of his skin, the touch of his flesh. I fled down the hall; Duo easily keeping up with me. I burst into the room and threw myself onto the bed, kneading the covers in my fists until I could breathe again. Sitting up, I looked over at Duo who was watching me in obvious arousal. I had to close my eyes against the luscious sight.  
  
"Where?" A perfectly good word, and more importantly one I could manage. "How?" I was falling into that place where speech couldn't follow, but I trusted him to understand. As if my words broke some trance, I heard him move closer. He was wise enough not to touch me.  
  
"Take your clothes off," he whispered. Perhaps I had stripped faster during a mission, but I wouldn't have bet on it. Certainly not with my eyes closed.  
  
"Just lay back, and put your hands over your head." I did. "Now, I'm going to just put these on and loop the chain over the bed slat here," he continued, as I felt the cool metal close around one wrist, then the other. "I don't think we need to bother with a word and all of that because I'm not actually going to do anything you might not like and we both know you could pull those apart in a heartbeat if you wanted to, but doing that would slow you down enough to come back to your senses. I hope." I growled in frustration and opened my eyes. Did he not understand what his voice did to me, even when he was babbling nervously?  
  
The growl faded into a desperate moan as I watched him stand and undress. He almost glowed with desire and his every movement radiated sensuality. I could swear the heat from his skin reached me from where he stood beside the bed, moving agonizingly slow. I tried desperately not to writhe as I instinctively searched for stimulation for my aching erection. I didn't succeed in either.  
  
Suddenly Duo was lying beside me, his soft hair slithering over my skin like electricity. I may have whimpered; I know I shivered. He rose up on his knees over me like a reckless god and when he bent to lick my neck the lust washed through me and unconsciously I reached to crush that magnificent hair in my hands. They were stopped short with a rattle of metal. It was pause enough to soothe the worst of the chaos boiling through me.  
  
"Right. Slow is for later." He slid down my body and my sensitized nerves resonated at the silken cascade. Sight faded in a burst of pleasure as his lips wrapped around my arousal. Urgently I thrust my hips upwards. His mouth was liquid fire fueling my hunger, but after a few frantic moments I slowed. Something was missing, something I wanted as relentlessly as my release.  
  
"Sss. Ssstt. Sssttt." I was grasping for words blindly. Duo seemed to understand. He stopped, and looked up uncertainly.  
  
"What's wrong?" he murmured, and one word swam to me on that golden voice.  
  
"Talk." I managed.  
  
He blinked in confusion. "What?"  
  
"Talk!" Without the oral stimulation, my focus was returning, ever so slightly. "Say something."  
  
"You want me to talk dirty to you?" He sounded faintly amused. I snarled an inarticulate sound of frustration.  
  
"Don't care. Just talk."  
  
Something indefinable flickered across his face. As he moved back up my body I could feel him trembling along my skin. For the first time since succumbing to the passion drugging my intellect I felt his desire as clearly as my own, but then he was beside me, his fingers slick with something curled around the length of my shaft and I was lost again.  
  
"First you think I'll never shut up, and then you want me to talk. What am I going to do with you Heero?" The meaning of the words ran away as he continued to stroke me. I pushed into his fist as his honey-thick voice resonated through my soul. The sound coiled around me as I climaxed, a synergy of sex and longing rushing through and out of me.  
  
I barely noticed him wiping me off and the cuffs being undone as I brought my breathing under control, but soon I was deeply aware that, although Duo lay beside me afterwards, he was carefully not touching me.  
  
"Now, in about an hour when you've had a chance to rest up a little bit, I think we can try something else, and I'll bet it's not so intense for you." His voice trembled with the effort of control, and I was extremely conscious of that too. I leaned up on one elbow and looked over at him. His skin was flushed, his breathing ragged, his physical arousal was obvious and seeing Duo's eyes glazed with hunger completed the most erotic picture I'd ever seen.  
  
"Screw that," I murmured languidly. I leaned over and did what I could not have done earlier. The kiss was slow and deep, and totally in my control. In my sated afterglow, I could appreciate how different we were; whereas I fought my need until it controlled me, Duo acquiesced and melted into his passion. His kiss embodied sensuality; it was as breathless and desirable as sex itself.  
  
I trailed my lips down his body, finally tasting the skin I'd hungered for. Salty and tart, and warm like cocoa. I couldn't decide if he was moaning softly or whimpering loudly, but I took a fierce delight in the sound. When I took him into my mouth he shuddered violently. Briefly I considered teasing him, but instantly rejected the idea as cruel. Besides, there would be time for that later. He thrust into me and I hummed in pleasure, letting the sound roll onto my lips. He came almost immediately, pouring into my mouth with a low cry of pleasure. I choked for a moment at the unique sensation and some of the warm fluid escaped my lips. I pulled back a bit and captured the rest.  
  
He stopped breathing for a long moment, long enough for me to become worried. But as I pushed up the length of his body he gasped and threw his arms around me, fitting himself close as if he were trying to fuse us on a molecular level.  
  
"What's wrong?" I was confused. He shook his head violently, keeping his face pressed tightly against my shoulder. "Duo." Now I was nervous, shading quickly into frightened. And then...he looked up at me. Something deep and powerful moved in his eyes until he blinked. Whatever I had glimpsed withdrew back into his soul.  
  
"I just...God." Duo's voice was heavy with wonder and delight. "That was so much better than I..."  
  
I couldn't help smirking just a bit at reducing him to ineloquence. My ego believed this rarely happened.  
  
"Even if this is the only time," he went on, settling his head back against me, so that his face was once again hidden, "I've never felt anything like that before. Thank you."  
  
I went still beside him. "I thought you told me we were going to try something else in an hour," I said neutrally. "This just means we start off even." The luminous joy on his face as he sat up beside me was amazing. "Did you think I was going to leave?" After a very silent pause, he nodded once. "I came to find you, remember? If anyone has the right to be insecure, it's me." And suddenly, I was. Inane as it sounds with him looking at me like that, I was unexpectedly afraid.  
  
Somehow, he knew. Gently he laced his fingers into mine and held on tightly. "Heero, I won't be sorry, and I won't regret it." He pulled gently on our twined hands until I sat up facing him. He put his hand on my cheek and the gesture was more intimate than all the sex that had gone before. "We're not strangers to each other. We've already fought and made up, divided the chores and shared a kitchen. You know what I like and I know what you hate. I've wanted you in my life for...God knows how long." Threaded through the words was the simplicity of truth.  
  
"Duo." I said his name like a prayer, and perhaps it was. "Be with me." He gave me one of those eloquent smiles, and it was answer enough. "We'll work the details out tomorrow."  
  
Just as I was about to pull him back down into my arms, the doorbell rang. We looked at each other in shock. Swiftly, I slid to the only window in the room, and looked through the curtains without touching them.  
  
"There's a flower delivery van outside." My senses had already gone on alert. Duo stood and pulled on a robe.  
  
"Nobody delivers flowers at," he spared a glance at the clock, "one in the morning."  
  
We left the bedroom together. I hadn't bothered to dress, but I did retrieve my gun. I stood to one side of the door, adrenaline pumping through me as the bell rang again.  
  
"Who is it?" Duo called from the other side of the door.  
  
"Flowers for Mr. Maxwell," came the muffled voice.  
  
"Do you know what time it is?"  
  
"I'm excruciatingly aware. But when you pay me as much as Mr. Winner is paying me, I'll deliver them whenever and wherever he wants."  
  
I watched as a delighted smile transformed Duo's face. He flung open the door before I could stop him. Fortunately the man didn't try to enter. I could see a clipboard thrust in, which Duo signed with a flourish. Then his arms were full as the anonymous deliveryman dumped a huge vase overflowing with blossoms into them. Duo kicked the door closed and practically ran to the kitchen. I followed.  
  
He was laughing wildly as he regarded the display. In answer to my questioning look, he pointed to something sticking out at the top. Mounted on a sturdy stick, where the card holder should be, was a thin metal wafer.  
  
"Is that what I think it is?" He nodded, still laughing helplessly. Looking closer, I spotted a small envelope tucked into the mass of greenery. I pulled it out and as expected, it had Duo's name written in Quatre's florid script. Wordlessly I handed it to him.  
  
He had finally gotten his laughter under control, but I watched in amazement as his grin seemed to flow through his whole body as he read the note. He handed it to me, waiting delightedly for my reaction.  
  
_Lunch on the 23rd at the Plaza. 1:00. You're safe until then. After that, be afraid, for it's my turn. Q  
_  
I looked up. "You are going to be a very interesting person to live with." In a breath he was locked against me, holding me tightly.  
  
"God, I love you," he breathed. Instead of being overwhelmed, I was astonished at the peace that flowed into me. He was not my anchor, he was my partner. The revelation freed me in a way I hadn't understood I'd needed. I was reminded again of that glorious freefall, only this time there was nothing waiting for me at the end because there was no end.  
  
"Come back to bed." I said softly. 


End file.
